Ok the basic idea is good I give you that for points.
The mastering of the track is really bad. Vocals are not EQed and do not fit in places. Gain of different tracks is WAY off and most of the time the vocals are just too present.
The sax sounds like it is played by the chipmunk band and everything besides the piano (which sounds decent but not good) is overly compressed and sounds way off, is either badly EQed or a really bad sample/track.
The beat is near to none-existand due to the gain structure and also is really bad sound wise.
The intro and break are far too long, I was bored out of my mind when the vocals hit.
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