OT but not really : How do you guys/girls handle relationships as a DJ

I actually have no idea what your relationship is, so forgive me if I unintentionally offend you. But I think I could give you (and a lot of guys) some things to consider.

[SIZE=3]as i have had to put my focus on my relationship which really takes its toll.[/SIZE]

Sorry, this is never a good sign. When people talk about relationships in terms of “work” to do, its time to take a serious re-evaluation. You’re enjoying each others company, not serving a prison sentence. Think about what this woman means to you and why you’re turning down all the flirty girls at the club.

[SIZE=3]time required to be a good DJ . . . . I dont have as much time to really prepare a masterpiece set[/SIZE]

[SIZE=3]Work comes and goes, a good woman lasts forever. Back when I was designing websites for MTV Networks, I dumped a really good woman (beautiful, smart, sweet and caring) because I thought she was getting in the way of my career. I didn’t put it that way to her or myself – but that was what was really going on in my head psychologically. Hey, it was the 90s and I needed to make history with internet design. [/SIZE]

Man, was I a dumbass. Those “masterpiece” webpages I was so focused on now look old and dated, not even in my portfolio anymore. She remains beautiful person. (We’re still friends). It took me another 15 years to find woman as good as her.

[SIZE=3][SIZE=3]first being super suspicious of me possibly cheating[/SIZE][/SIZE]

Why does your girlfriend feel this way? Are you encouraging the flirting, if only subconsciously? Are you making DJing the “other woman” even if you’re not sleeping around? Your partner should share and respect your passions and interests in life. My wife is not a big music lover, but she encourages me to DJ because she sees how much it makes me happy.

I don’t know if you’re living together or what, but your post reminds me of another artist friend who was also getting similar pressure from his girlfriend. Turns out his art studio was in their loft. Bad idea. I’ll explain how I helped him realize this, but I have to digress a bit: Men and women are quite different in how they view a home.

Most guys think Saturday afternoon is for relaxing – sit on the couch, grab a beer, blast off a couple of farts and watch footall. Most women see it as time to clean up the house. Many a domestic conflict happens here. Why? For most women, if their home isn’t in order, then their life is out of order. Its an extention of their maternal, nuturing instinct. Guys on the other hand see the home as a comforting cave to relax after a hard week of hunting and killing in the outside world.

For some reason I think you might just be bringing your work into the relationship this way, even if you don’t physically live together. Think about it. When I told this to my artist friend, he went “A-HA” I’m sorry to indulge in gender stereotypes, but hopefully it helps.

I don’t know how old your GF is, but I assume she’s around your age (which you once said was 28) Generally, when women start pushing 30 they re-evaluate any significant relationship to see if it will lead towards marriage and a family. Guys are happy to wander around late into their 30s. Being a DJ is not exactly a profession that screams “husband material!”

Another thing to consider is that sometimes people just outgrow each other and their priorities shift. This is true of all ages, but especially in your 20s. Maybe she’s stuck in a dead-end job and she’s really jealous of your success. Maybe she’s a high-powered executive who finds the idea of a DJ boyfriend glamourous and exciting, but the thrill is wearing off. I don’t know.

Hope this helps you (and other DJs in relationships) out. I’m a happily married man now.

DJ Homei, post: 34670, member: 5649 wrote: (…) [SIZE=3]Work comes and goes, a good woman lasts forever. Back when I was designing websites for MTV Networks, I dumped a really good woman (beautiful, smart, sweet and caring) because I thought she was getting in the way of my career. I didn’t put it that way to her or myself – but that was what was really going on in my head psychologically. Hey, it was the 90s and I needed to make history with internet design. [/SIZE]

Man, was I a dumbass. Those “masterpiece” webpages I was so focused on now look old and dated, not even in my portfolio anymore. She remains beautiful person. (We’re still friends). It took me another 15 years to find woman as good as her. (…) I’m a happily married man now.

that’s quite a touching Story, thx for sharing 😉

1) Don’t ever give up your passion for a woman.
2) Educate her on your love for music. But don’t burden her with it.
3) When you’re together… on a date…doing whatever… she’s needs to be your everything. If you can’t give her the same love and attention when you’re together like you do to your music, you’re not ready to be in a relationship.