Little correction here. Gold plated connectors are only helpful if the jack is gold plated also, which is hardly ever the case on mp3 players and smartphones. Cables DO matter, but only in environments where the total quality of the sound system is good enough. I am talking recording studio or audiophile levels here. And even then we are talking mic cables and such, not cords for headphones.
As far as interchangeability goes. Pretty much tip and first rings are used for l and r signal, a 2nd ring for mic signal. This means that a stereo headset plug should work even if plugged into a phone, even if the headset has no mic. How it works with stuff like volume control and such is dependant on the manufacturers implementation.
I am guessing that getting an original replacement part is gonna work best.
Greetinx,
C.
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