Not bad for a first good try, my feedback:
– intro! the first 16-32 bars are for your intro, general rule of thumb is to start with percussion, then add kick (or the bass component), add bass and then continue building with melody/etc; the same goes for the outtro btw
– watch your levels! there were no clipped peaks, but the kick and bass were really low on volume, or the rest was too hard
– the breakdown is usually expected to be more in the middle, or rather, have more main section after it – why have an epic build-up if the song is already nearly over? so either add more main section afterwards, to which you can add a new or different melody line as well, or keep it short like this, but move your breakdown more to the front.
– no tonal clashes, although the arp(?)/repeat of your main synth comes across as a bit generic to me.
– nice use of wooshers! 🙂
– look for some nice free VSTs to lose that generic feel! 😉
– also, with that clap build-up, use an increasing velocity from zero – to make it come up out of the deep and add a little reverb to it
– and layer for a fuller and more interesting sound!
Hope this helps! (For anyone)
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